Written on 29 July 2013
2 months n counting… It has been the monsoon when the skies opened and let tears pour down, soaking the earth with pain that was unfathomable for us… it has been the monsoon when we lost him forever… our precious little child that all of us held close to our hearts… i have memories that date back to the days when i’ve held him as a cute adorable thing in my arms, memories of taking him for bike rides in my scooty n being tortured by his karate kicks when he was a toddler, of having pillow fights n hugging him n sleeping when he was a school boy, n sharing his most intense secrets n regrets when he grew up to be a teenager… yes he was nineteen, but he was still my baby… n him… he had the heart of gold.. a 19yr old who loved little children and melodies and nature… something u rarely find in teenagers of this era… he loved us all of us so much though he found it hard to express most of the time.. but i’ve seen his heart, how beautiful he is inside… n the very fact intensifies the hurt i feel of having lost him n enunciates the gravity of the loss… the waves of grief, inexplicable n overwhelming… n i kno that the pain of it will loom over any happiness i may ever have in this life….. i love the rains, n have been waiting each so-called ‘monsoon’ seasons that went past in the previous years, with hardly any rain to cool my mind.. n the incessant torrent of rain that started this monsoon season, on the day he faded into eternity, hasn’t ceased ever since.. the irony of it all is that, he too loved the rains more than anything, n he never got to enjoy this beautiful rainy season… n i too, though long-awaited, never got to revel in this magic of nature… cos tears or rains, i no longer can tell apart…..
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